7 posts from May 2008

    >___< Work kind of "sucked" today.  My manager is just so"rude to me", "demeaning", "unhelpful", "ungreatful" etc.  I cannot really explain her and I sometimes.  There just seems to be a clash always.  I really do not know what I have done?  I try sooooooooooooooooo hard all the time!  I called my mother in a bit of a frenzy after I had just got off work a bit upset with the whole day.  I just need to rant sometimes but I was angry and she thought I was being "silly" with some of the things I said and maybe I was?  I felt hurt though a bit.  Seems I am all on my own with work as in no one to help me or ask for guidance.  I know my mother wants to help me with the "work thing" but she doesn't know what it is like like she has said before, and when I try to explain it to her too it seems yet again that I am not believed or sounding foolish. :-(  I told my mother I would call her later 4 hours ago, but I am kind of afraid to.  I know I will be a little snooty if I do call her even though I know she totally does not deserve it!  Feel "trapped" in this whole work related web!
    I said in my last post things were going better.  I wish and hoped they would.  Even sometimes I may pretend work is good and that my co-workers are "fabulous" but the truth is not.  I try to hide my "grief" with it sometimes.  My mother knows the whole story though.  Maybe she is just getting tired of hearing it 3 times a week?  Maybe I should just through plates and cups at the wall in frustration and depression rather than talking to her about it?  See?  I am sounding silly again.  I do not know where to release this "tension" though and I am afraid I may do something stupid or something that I may regret???
    On other terms, have been playing my Nintendo DS Lite a lot lately.  "Animal Crossing" is such a fun yet simple game.  Right up my alley!!! :-)  I did have a fun weekend.  Had Sunday off and Monday too for Memorial Day.  On Sunday I took my mom and dad out for Chinese food for lunch and they then took me to the movies.  We saw "Indiana Jones 4."  It was pretty good.  I give it a B.  Not a B+ or B-.  Just a B.  It was entertaining but a bit "corny" in some parts.  Over all pretty good though!!!  :-)  I spent the night at their house too that night.  It was nice sleeping with my dogs Pookie and Lizie again even though to tell you the truth, I did not sleep well at all because of them!!!  O__o
    I hope things get more positive.  It is "draining" to get up and go to work 5-6 days a week knowing you are going to be treated differently by your manager compared to your other co-workers and be "belittled and made to feel stupid" if you have a question.  Is it silly to think work is making me depressed????

    Things have been going better for me this week with work which totally transforms my mood and outlook on things.  I feel more confident and A LOT more happy!  It is like dominoes you know?  One thing leads to another which in this case my mood totally has been transformed.  Had a business banking meeting on Tuesday morning for 2 hours with a very nice lady named Katy who I had had an audio conference call with a couple weeks earlier.  I studied all the

information I was provided with for the meeting and went in feeling bright and confident.  I decided if you freely participate in these meetings or classes then less likely you are going to be targeted or asked a question by the "teacher" or whatever and not know the answer and look a bit foolish.  I participated quite a bit of information and left the meeting feeling accomplished.  My manager was not at the branch yesterday but in meetings somewhere else herself. This morning though when I went in I met her in her office and she told me that at her meetings, Katy, who was there too had told her how "terrific" I was which made me feel VERY good! :-) :-) :-) All smiles! I had another 4 hour class/meeting today too from 2-6pm with some of the "big dogs" of our bank district and I think it went well.  I learned a lot and took away some valuable information which I can always use.
    I went and had dinner with my mom, dad and little brother last night.  We had BLT's (bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches).  Was nice visiting them mid-week.  I always visit them every Sunday, but I miss them all still a lot and it is very nice and therapeutic to see them before then. 
    Have not done too many things besides reading, blogging, listening to music, watching movies, and playing more "animal crossing" in my free time.  Those are the things I like to do and they make me even more happy which is a good thing!  Nothing wrong with good!  ^___~

    My sister came over to my house yesterday after I got off from a freakishly busy but somewhat rewarding day at work.  More about that later!  Her and I first went to lunch at Qdoba, which is a baja Mexican food type of place to eat.  Then we came here and she helped me get the wireless going so now I am writing my first entry on my own computer here in my new home with my room mate Jessica!  Today I had the whole day off.  I got up at about 9am and after I got ready for the day, went to the bookstore and browsed the shelves but found nothing I couldn't live without.  I then went to Best Buy and bought the Nintendo DS game "Animal Crossing" and the movie Miss Potter.  I

then went to my parents house and chilled.  It was hot today.  84 degrees which I am terribly not used to yet!  Feels like we have just skipped the spring like weather here and went straight into summer!  I sat on the back patio and played my new game for several hours.  We had chicken pot pie and cherry crisp for dessert.  It was quite delicious!  I did not stay too long after we ate.  I said good-bye to my whole family.  Mom, Dad, brother and my sister who was visiting them there today too.  I always feel so sad looking in my rear view mirror at my mother watching me drive off.  In my new home here with my room mate Jessica, it does not quite feel "permanent" or "home" quite yet.  I wish I could still be young and free from work and bills etc.  Being an adult quite frankly and still live in the comfort of my parents home knowing they are there.  My parents only are about 5 minutes drive away but part of me feels "empty" still knowing I am not living with them anymore.  That comfort is gone know and makes me feel uneasy sometimes and scared.
    Work like I said was insane yesterday!  There were just 3 people in the whole bank!  I got there and got my teller drawer out but only did like 4 transactions before I opened 1 CD or certificate of deposit, 1 money market savings account and 1 regular checking.  I also closed 2 accounts and a loan and dealt with a older woman and her daughter complaining about how the mother owed $480 on her reserve line or overdraft protection.  I kept cool and handled it all.  Had to call the help desk about 7 times but that is what they are there for.  The woman who I first helped at the beginning of the day opened the CD and Money Market and it took about an hour.  She was patient and very nice and at the end of the whole thing she gave me a hug.  She said she was worried about opening these things because she was not sure what she wanted to do with the large check she brought in and I helped her and explained things.  She said I was very professional and I felt blessed with how patient she was with me too considering I am a new banker still. :-)  My other co-workers who did the teller part the whole day were utterly exhausted too after we closed at 1pm.  There was a line most of the day.  Sometimes to the door!!!  We were all pissed at our manager who scheduled her and 3 other of the bank employees to go to a city festival to advertise our bank and gather more accounts.  They did not need 4 people there!!!!  We soooooooooo could have used more help.  Two people at the festival would have been sufficient we all thought!  My co-worker Martha and I did not leave work until 1:45pm when we usually get out at 1:15pm roughly.  I hope I hear something about this insaneness tomorrow!!!!  An apology or something would be nice from our manager but highly unlikely!!!  >___<
    This weekend was not bad!  I enjoyed the time spent today with my family and dogs!  Highly therapeutic and just how I wanted to spend my Sunday! <3

    It is kind of rainy and cold outside today!   I like it!  :-)  I had to open the branch today which I did not mind.  Had to be there at 6:50am.  We open at 7:00am and my manager who opened with me did not get there till exactly 7am.  Argh!!!  Sometimes I feel my branch manager and I have a personality conflict!!!  There is a lot of other "stuff" that has happened to make me feel this way, but I will not really get into that.  I got off work at exactly 3pm.  Was supposed to get off at 2:45 but again my manager and a co-worker were late getting back from their lunch which ended up being an hour and a half for them instead of an hour.  ARGH!  Felt bad because then manager asked our teller coordinator to only take a 45 minute lunch so I could leave on time and she could come in later the next day, but it felt like their whole late lunch thing got twisted and made me look bad!!!  :-(
    Am at my parents house now and we are going to have chimichungas for dinner!!! YUMMY!  I <3 Mexican food!  It is my weakness.  I really like rellanos, enchiladas, burritos, tacos, quesadillas, taquitos etc.  Many or all of which have cheese or are deep fried!!!  Should be done in about half hour!!  Smells so good so far though!!!
    Been reading a bit in my second "Bridget Jones" book.  Tis very good.  Are only on chapter 3 but I love all the characters.  Especially Mark Darcy's character in the book and actor Colin Firth as him in the movies which you already know from my previous entries.  I can't seem to not mention my like for the whole Bridget Jones book and movie sagas in every entry.  I must remind myself and you!  :-)
    Friday tomorrow.  I don't really care for Friday's now for we get bombed at work which is always to be expected at a bank, but it would be nice if we had more help or at least another spot for a teller station.  We are a very busy branch and 4 teller stations each manned sometimes is not enough!!  O__o  Gotta make do though.  We just hired another teller thank goodness who is in teller school now like I was a couple months ago.  :-)
    Trying to keep the whole work/job thing positive!  ++++ Trying not to sound too negative -------  Need to just try my best and hopefully my manager and I will not but heads as much.  I do not really know if she has a problem with me, but sometimes it seriously feels like it compared to how I see her act and talk to my other co-workers.  I feel kind of "left out" in things a lot.  Is not a good feeling really.  She is really hard to talk to and ask things as well.  Hmmmm???
    Here is a nice picture of actor Colin Firth for you and I to look at to end this somewhat "rantish" entry!!! <3

  

  The last few days have been kind of stressful for me with work!  One of my managers at the bank named Heather left us for a few months to give birth and take care of her third child.  She had the baby boy yesterday and is doing well thank goodness!  Yesterday was crazy busy!  Friday's of course are always busy, but yesterday was just nuts!!!  Today I was stressing on going to work because there was going to be no managers and no Lori who is the regular banker at our branch and very knowledgeable and experienced.  It was just me as the banker and only being out of banker school for 2 weeks, I felt well "stressed" that I would have no managers or Lori to ask questions particularly if there was a loan issue.  I need to study a bit more on the loan area of my job I must admit.  Though I had 4 days of loan training in banker school, I came out still feeling oblivious to the subject.  Today went fine by the way.  I helped two customers.  One opened a savings account and the other just needed some help organizing her many credit/check/business cards!  I kept my cool and got through it.  :-)
    I am at my parents home now and it is cold and rainy outside.  I do not mind though because I do like the rain!  We are going to go out to dinner the three of us to a BBQ restaurant called "Famous Dave's".  They truly have great tasting BBQ of all sorts.  I always get the buffalo chicken wings which comes with corn on the cob, celery and carrots with ranch dip, corn bread and my choice of two sides which usually are garlic mashed potatoes and green beans with bacon.  It sounds and surely IS a lot of food.  It comes at a great price though and is great to take home for leftovers!!!  Looking forward to this meal.
    Almost done with my book that I am reading called "Bridget Jones's Diary."  I am on the last chapter.  The books chapters are arranged by the months like a diary of course so I am on the December chapter.  Such a good book.   Thank you sister for recomending it to me!!!!  <3
    Please enjoy the utter cuteness of my dogs Pookie and Lizie as seen here resting.  ^___~
   

    Ha!  Here are some pictures of my new place with my roommate Jessica which I have

told you for over a month now I would share.  O___o  My room is painted a soft yellow and has kind of a girly "secret garden" theme going for it!  I am very impressed.  The vanity you see in one of the pictures was my grandmothers on my dad's side and it once had even belonged to her mother.  An antique I guess you can simply put it.  It is still in very good shape and I hope to keep it that way!  In another photo you can see my "collectors case" with the tv on it.  Next to the tv is a beautiful red rose lamp which my sister so kindly bought me as a housewarming gift!  It is so pretty at night.  The red glow is so peaceful!  Then there is my bed and the bathroom!  ;-) 
    Have been reading Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding the past couple days.  It is a very good book.  I am glad my sister got me into the whole movie and book trilogies!  I must say I have a little thing for Mark Darcy too.  He is a wonderful character in the book and movies.  Played by the handsome Colin Firth in the movies!  (Revert to previous entry for photo)  Move out of the way Bridget Jones!!!!!  jk.............
    Had a half day at work today.  I only worked till about noon.  I then left and went to the gorcery store to buy just a few groceries like tv dinners, cereal, and milk for cereal!  I am now at my parents house where we are going to all eat dinner together.  Do not know quite yet what we are having????

P.S.  Some photos are not uploading in this Vox entry properly.  Will have to look in my photos section for the rest!!!!  >___<

 

   I finally have the whole weekend off!  Well I did!  What is left of it anyways.... :-(  It was a nice weekend though.  Again I am at my parents house using their computer.  I finally got my wireless card today so I can have the internet at home with my rommate Jessica who I am not sure has bought the wireless box on her part.  I know she will.  She is very nice and reliable.  Maybe I will just gently remind her tonight??? ^__~  I started reading "Bridget Jones's Diary" today by the author Helen Fielding.  Very good so far.  I have only read one chapter so far but I am really into it.  Any girl can relate to the character Bridget you know.  ;-)  I plan on reading some more in a while outside on my parents patio sipping a drink and enjoying the beautiful spring-like weather we are finally having now.  I mean it was snowing hard here on May 1st!  It was cold on Friday May 2nd too.  I better enjoy this weather.  Colorado is so weird sometimes. O__o 
    Yesterday was a fun Saturday.  Like I said it was one of the 1st Saturdays I have had off in about a month.  I went and did a little shopping.  I first went to the bookstore and looked around a while but did not buy anything.  I next went to the mall and went to Victoria's Secret and looked at all their lotions and perfumes which were on sale.  They were like 6 items for $30 or 3 items for $24 so I bought 5 items in the scent "Romantic Wish" which smells a little like watermelon to me and then a bottle of their new "Dewy Peach" lotion for my sister who is notorious for liking anything related to peaches.  ^__~ I took a bath last night and tried out all my new stuff.  The body wash, body scrub, lotion, and body mist all in the same scent!  I felt like royalty.  I then watched the movie "Meet the Fockers" with Jessica and then got sleepy and went to bed at about 10:30.  I listened to my ipod a little before actually falling asleep at like midnight.  We were both babysitting one of her friends huge lab dog last night along with her lab too.  They were barking and making a lot of noise so it was hard to fall asleep a little.  I do not know how Jessica did it because both of the huge male dogs were in her room!!!!!  O___o   I woke up at 9am sharp today and starting reading my book and went to look around in the store Kohls.  I am now at my parents home!  Phew!  That seemed like a lot to type up!  Hee Hee.    
    I am listening to the song "All I Want is to Feel This Way" by "Toad the Wet Sprocket" now.  It is a ood song, but the band or whatever's name is really well "weird".  The song is from the mid 90's or so.  A really good song.  Here, I will insert it so you can hear it too!  I plan on having another Bridget Jones movie trilogy marathon tonight.  I am going to have lunch here at my parents and hang out for a while and then head back home with is only a 6 minute drive from here.  :-)  Work tomorrow!  :-(  Oh well.  I will try not to think of it now.  It is only 1:40pm so I still have half a day of play still!  :-)